Put the Book Down!
by Paperleaf
Summary: [KennyxKyle] When Kyle refuses to put down the book he's reading, Kenny does what he does best to try and distract him. Oneshot X3


A/N: This is kinda just a lame KennyxKyle I cooked up while reading about Harry Potter... XD yeah. Because I was thinking of how lost people get in the books, they forget about the real world for a while. So in honor of the last Harry Potter book comming out in like, a week or something... here. :D

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Put the Book Down!

"Alright… we got the soda, chips, popcorn… pork rinds for _Cartman,_" Stan listed off, giving a questionable glance to Cartman.

"What?" Cartman asked from Stan's couch, boredly clicking through channels. "You can eat shit like that if you work it off somehow," he said, matter-of-factly.

Stan raised an eyebrow. "And _you_ work it off?"

Cartman frowned. "Well at least I do more then Jew boy here!" he complained, tapping Kyle's head with the remote.

Kyle shuffled his sitting position in front of the couch and ignored Cartman.

"See?" Cartman said. "He's so boring now!"

"He's just really into that new book…" Stan said, sticking a thumb into one of his belt loops and reaching for the phone. "You know how Kye gets when a new installment of that book comes out."

"Seriously, dude." Cartman said with disdain, "The nickname thing still sounds totally gay."

_-knock knock!-_

Stan raised his eyebrows. "That can't be Kenny, he never knocks…" he wandered over to the door, carefully stepping over his best friends' legs on the floor and lingering in Cartman's view of the TV.

He opened the door to find a disheveled Kenny with four bottles of a strange looking drink in his hands.

"Hey, dude!" he said, placing two of the drinks in Stan's hands and welcoming himself into the living room without taking his shoes off.

Stan grinned and peered down at one of the bottles. "What the hell is this stuff, Kenny?"

"It's this totally awesome drink that's only sold in Japan," Kenny called from the kitchen. He emerged back into the living room and placed a bottle next to Kyle and the other on top of Cartman's sprawled out body on the couch.

"Kevin ordered like, four cases of it. He would have gotten more if he had more cash, but working at J-Mart doesn't really have the best payout- move your fucking feet, asshole!" Kenny said, slapping Cartman's foot.

"I was here first, you son of a bitch!" Cartman complained, but he moved his feet so Kenny could sit down anyways.

"Uh huh…" Stan said, still staring at the bottle. "What's so great about it?"

"Well, not only does it taste great, it makes chicks wanna do you!" Kenny said, grinning as if he actually believed that. "I'm serious!"

Stan rolled his eyes and walked back into the kitchen. "Yeah, because we're gonna be _surrounded_ by chicks while the four of us watch Jackass 2 tonight."

Kenny stuck his tongue out at his dark haired friend as he walked past and then glanced at Kyle. "What'cha reading, Kye?" he asked, resting his drink-free hand on Kyle's curly red hair.

"Goddamnit, no more fruity nicknames!" Cartman complained, opening his own drink.

Kenny sat forward and leaned towards the side of Kyle's face, so close that most people would probably back away from the intrusive blonde's face. "Kye? Hellloooo!"

"Forget about it, Kenny," Stan said, re-entering the room with a big bowl of popcorn. "He's totally absorbed in that book right now. He probably can't even hear you."

Kenny lifted his eyebrows and cocked his head at the Jew. "Oh, really? What book are you reading, dude?"

No reply. Kyle licked his thumb and turned the page, briefly blinking his emerald eyes and returning to a statue-like reading state.

Kenny slid off of the couch and next to Kyle. He leaned in and read a few lines of the book. "Larry Trotter?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, Jesus…" Cartman said, rolling his eyes.

Kenny laughed. "It _does_ sounds kinda gay, Kyle."

No reply from the Jew. Kenny's eyes flickered with mischief and he rested a hand on Kyle's knee. "You wouldn't happen to be… _gay,_ now would you, Kyle?"

Still no response. Kenny started sliding his hand up Kyle's leg, scratching the denim lightly with his fingernail. "Oh _Kyyyye?_"

Kyle stiffened slightly and furrowed his brow at his book, as if he was in deep concentration.

Kenny smirked and avoided the best part of the pants for last, bringing his hand just under Kyle's green buttoned-up shirt and gliding his fingers over Kyle's hipbone. "Can't you hear me, Kye?" Kenny asked seductively. Kyle just swallowed and continued staring at his book.

"Will you fags _seriously,_ shut the hell up?" Cartman complained, turning up the volume on the TV.

"Now you're just making me feel bad, Kye," Kenny whispered close to the Jew's face, sticking out his lower lip in a pout. He trailed his hand away from Kyle's hip and up his ribs with a feather-soft touch. Kyle tried to hide a smile and squirmed.

I can't get much closer to you than this," Kenny whispered, his lips grazing Kyle's ear. "But I can if you don't talk to me."

Kyle tensed up even more and blinked again, but still said nothing.

Well, that was Kenny's cue. He licked Kyle's earlobe and then began sucking on it, running his nails down the red-head's bare stomach. Kyle squirmed and leaned away, his eyes still glued to the book. "Knnn…"

Kenny persisted, sticking his tongue in Kyle's ear and moving his hand down to his friend's crotch and grabbing it firmly.

"AHH!" Kyle yelped in surprise, dropping his book and falling sideways to the floor. "What the hell, Kenny?" he asked wildly with a blush on his face.

Kenny laughed and picked up Kyle's book. "I knew I could do it!"

"Oh, Goddamnit you guys! I'm so seriously…" Cartman muttered, moving his head as his friends got in the way of the TV.

"What the hell's going on in here?" Stan asked, poking his head out of the kitchen.

"Oh, you know, the usual," Cartman said sarcastically. "Kenny is sexually molesting Kahl while I'm trying to watch a documentary on fried food."

Stan raised his eyebrows at Kyle and Kenny sprawled out on the floor. "Ooookay…" Stan said, returning to the kitchen.

Kyle sat up and stared Kenny in the face, still blushing. "Kenny!"

Kenny raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Yeah, Kyle?"

Kyle looked around the room, and then leaned over to Kenny's ear. "Can I talk to you in… Stan's room for a minute?" he asked shyly, not looking at the blonde.

Kenny's smile widened perversley and he stood up. "Hells yeah!" he said, running up the stairs. Kyle glanced embarrassingly at Cartman and followed the blonde.

Cartman watched them go with his mouth gaping, and slapped a hand to his forehead.

"What's the matter?" Stan asked when he finally came in to sit down on the couch, eying up the spot where his best friend had previously been sitting.

"Well, Kenny was _almost_ right about those drinks," Cartman said, rolling his eyes in disgust. "Instead of making _chicks_ wanna do you, it makes _Kahls_ want to do you."

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A/N: Kenny is such a dilhole. XD anyways imma go play FFR now :o

Review if you please. :3


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